About 2 weeks ago I asked my husband of 14 years ( married with 2 boys both in Secondary School) what was going on between him and a female former coworker he has known (and I have met several times) for 3 years.
He said that they were just friendly coworkers but that he is now interested in her romantically.
We took a whole week on this matter going back and forth and up and down and I stated clearly that my desire was to reconcile whatever the situation, even though I know we had no fight or misunderstanding prior to this revelation, he initially said he was thinking it through, but has now firmly decided against rebuilding our relationship telling me that he lost interest years back and has not been happy in the marriage but just managing to keep up.
So, at this point I am still alternating between sadness, grief, anger, and optimism for my own future and my children – at times optimistic about him coming around and changing his mind, and other times optimistic about being single, then again followed by the cycle again, there is no peace in me at all. I can’t even close my eyes to sleep well. I reported him to my parents in-law, he walked out on them in the middle of the discussion and left us just looking at ourselves.
He stays at her place whenever he wants and I’m now sleeping on the couch in the living room, sometimes in the guest room and we’re coexisting peacefully, although I am at times nervous and anxious not knowing what to tell my boys when they return for holiday, not sure if he wants to divorce me completely or marry a second wife on top me. I have lost any feeling of love that I had left in my heart for him, I don’t even want to be with him anymore but not sure what is right or wrong at this point.
To be honest, we weren’t fighting or arguing before this. I think he detached himself a few months ago and I just didn’t realize it.
Any advice will do please.
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